


Sinflower

by AcuteAngleOfTheLord



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Post-Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories, Ripping off some elements of Final Fantasy X, Traveling between universes, time travel (sort of)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29528103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcuteAngleOfTheLord/pseuds/AcuteAngleOfTheLord
Summary: Canon divergent. The last thing Roxas remembered was leaving the Twilight Town simulation with the attempt to rejoin Sora's heart. But suddenly he wakes up in a hospital where everyone is telling him that his name is Roxas Strife, a student at Radiant Garden College, alongside his brothers--Sora and Roxas’ twin named Ven.  They insist that an accident has muddled his mind and his memories aren't real and that the Keyblade Wars and Heartless existed a thousand years ago.Roxas doesn't know what's real, but he knows two things for sure.The first: he has a heart.The second: for some reason, Axel hates him.
Relationships: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Lea/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 27





	1. Day 365

**Author's Note:**

> I'm replaying the entire series and after nearly twenty years and writing fic for this fandom. Hopefully I write better than my ten year old self ^_^
> 
> I love so many of the reborn/memory fics but I always feel it’s a similar trope of everyone being reborn in the modern era with memories of their past trickling in. I sorta wanted to turn it on its head and do something a little different.

Dying, Roxas thought, as he saw his hand start to disintegrate as it touched Sora’s hand. Is that what this was?

Would climbing (back) into the heart of the Keyblade wielder be the death of him? Certainly it would be an ending of some kind. Would he cease to exist, never to see or hear or feel anything again? Or would he spend his existence inside Sora’s heart, able to see and experience everything but unable to move, trapped forever?

His arms and legs were gone now, dissipated into fragmented pieces of light as they restored the missing piece of Sora’s heart. Soon, his whole body would be gone too.

_Ha. I’ll be a Nobody with no body._

It didn’t hurt though. It didn’t feel like anything, really. After all, Roxas didn’t truly exist, so he couldn’t miss what was never really there in the first place, right?

As Roxas felt his face pull back into the heart of his Somebody, he thought back to the last couple days in this fake Twilight Town. Axel, who had never given up on Roxas, but still let him go. Knowing there would be no convincing Roxas once he was determined. Axel, who sometimes made Roxas feel like he had a--

_Let’s meet again, in the next life._

And then Roxas was swallowed by the light.

\-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -

The blinding, burning light was too much, and Roxas groaned as he opened his eyes.

Everything around him was so stark white. He could barely open his eyes, having to squint a little as he tried to take in his surroundings. He brought a hand up to shield his eyes--

The world exploded in _pain_.

Roxas let out a startled yelp. His head was throbbing, and his arm felt like it was on fire when he had tried to move it, and his face felt like it was on fire and heavy.

“Hey, you’re awake,” drawled an all-too familiar cheerful voice, causing Roxas’ eyes to snap to the source. There he was, fiery red untamed hair, eyes that were closed but Roxas knew if opened would be a striking emerald, and an ever-present smirk evident in his voice. “For a second, I didn’t think you’d pull through.”

“Axel.”

Another burst of pain as Roxas had sat up without thinking, startled by the presence. He brought his thankfully uninjured hand to his head, feeling the soft yet scratchy texture of bandages around his forehead.

If he hadn’t been so distracted with the pain, he’d have seen the name catching Axel off-guard, eyes opening to finally look at Roxas. But the redhead pushed on in the same carefree demeanor, finding his footing once again.

“Took one hell of a trip, Rox. You should be more careful next time you decide to do something oh-so incredibly stupid.”

What...had he done? The last thing he remembered…

Merging with Sora. Had Axel stopped it from happening, coming back after he seemingly let Roxas go? Had the Organization ripped Roxas from Sora? He must have been back at the Castle, or back at the Mansion from how white everything was.

So many questions were running through his mind, and he could feel his confusion and betrayal bubbling into anger and irritation. His head was throbbing the more he thought, clouding his ability to think _clearly_ which only led to more questions, more pain, more anger, until finally he looked at Axel ready to start a fight.

But what came out of his mouth was: “What the hell are you wearing?”

As he started to adjust to the throbbing pain and his mind seemed to clear, he realized Axel wasn’t wearing the dark hooded cloak issued by the Organization. Rather, he was dressed in mid-calf black boots over black jeans, with a long black hoodie that was open revealing a dark red and black checkered button down.

Axel looked at Roxas with wide eyes, and Roxas couldn’t help but feel that Axel looked _wrong._ But Axel caught himself, and the smirk reappeared like a shield.

“What, you don’t like the new digs? They seemed to do just fine when I was saving your ass.”

The anger and confusion that had ebbed to make way for shock returned in full force, and Roxas finally snapped.

“Saved me?! From what? I _wanted_ to go back to Sora, to help him wake up. I’m not even _real_ , Ax, and you can’t make me go back to the Organization. Sora _needs_ me, he needs me to fight against the Heartless, so you’re gonna have to kill me and _why are you laughing_?”

It was a barely there sound coming from the redhead, one that filled Roxas with...something. Memories of the same noise from the clocktower in Twilight Town with a warm smile and soft eyes. For a second Roxas felt as if he couldn’t breathe. Like he... _missed_ it.

It only made him angrier.

“Sorry,” Axel said, despite sounding anything but. “Docs really weren’t kidding about the toxin thing. I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about, Rox. Sora’s fine, and I’m sure he and Mr. Peanutbutter will be here soon. And if I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t have dragged you to a hospital.”

Oh. That was...huh. The bed. The white lights and the machines and the bandages and the pain...it clicked in at once and it was as though Roxas could finally see the room for what it was, a hospital room. The sharp pain in his arm was from a needle stuck in it attached to a tube where liquid flowed into his veins.

But why was he here in the first place?

“You better start explaining what the hell is going on or you’ll wish you _hadn’t_ saved me.”

Another low chuckle from across the room. Another weird... _pang_ beneath the bubbling irritation. Best friend or not, Roxas felt murderous.

“You picked a fight with, I don’t know, six, maybe seven guys? Admirable, by the way, especially the one you smacked in the face with your skateboard. But when you inevitably got overpowered and got your lights knocked out, you landed right in a patch of Sinflowers.”

“Um...okay? What’s so bad about sunflowers?”

“ _Sin_ flowers,” Axel sighed in almost boredom. “Toxic? Fumes alone are enough to muck up your mind?”

“I...what?” For all Roxas knew, Axel was speaking a different language.

There was a long and heavy sigh from the taller man, who just shook his head. “As if the head trauma wasn’t enough…”

Roxas opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted when a younger blonde woman walked in, carrying a clipboard. She looked pleasantly startled when she saw Roxas awake. “Hello, Roxas! Good to see you awake! I’m Celia, your nurse today. Heard you’ve had a rough day today. How are you feeling?”

“Um…” Roxas swallowed, feeling near whiplash at the differences between Axel’s aloofness and Nurse Celia’s warmth. “I...my head hurts?”

The nurse wheeled over a tall and skinny machine to the bed that had a series of numbers and lines on it, putting a loose clamp over Roxas’ index finger. She took a thermometer and prompted Roxas to open his mouth, which he obeyed willingly. As the tests ran, she peered at the bandages on his head, which Roxas wished desperately he could see.

“You took a pretty nasty hit from what your friend told us,” she said, nodding over at Axel. The machine beeped and the nurse took the clamp off his finger, and the thermometer out as she read the numbers. “Everything looks good from this end. No fever, blood pressure is good...I hear you’re having a hard time at school?”

“Uh…” School? Roxas didn’t go to school...did he? He looked at Axel with furrowed eyebrows.

Luckily the redhead took over. “Seems the Sinflowers hit him pretty hard. He’s been a jumbled mess.”

Roxas’ agitation came back again at that despite knowing Axel was teasing. He had no idea what was going on, and Axel didn’t seem keen on explaining. Of course he’d be a bit of a mess! Just before he opened his mouth, Nurse Celia gave him a kind smile, though Roxas could tell there was a slight frown behind it.

“Roxas, I’m going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer them as best as you can, okay? Take as much time as you need to.”

Roxas turned back to her, feeling that maybe she’d be more helpful than Axel. “Sure, but only if I get to ask some questions of my own.”

She smiled kindly. “Of course.” She had a pen ready at her clipboard. “Let’s start with your name.”

“That’s easy. It’s Roxas.”

“And your last name, dear?”

He frowned at that. “I…don’t have a last name. Not that I know of anyway.”

He watched the nurse write down on the clipboard, and he knew he had answered incorrectly.

“Do you know what year it is, Roxas?” Nurse Celia asked, and Roxas could see the worry behind her smile increasing some.

He shook his head. “No, but time passes differently on every world, right? I never really knew about the Castle, but either way, it’s probably a different year than there.”

The nurse was stunned for a moment, and silence fell. Axel’s gaze flickered back to Roxas with slight interest, but otherwise didn’t look like he’d be much help. Again, Roxas felt like he was saying the wrong thing.

“Roxas…” the nurse’s voice was a little too gentle for Roxas’ liking. “Do you know how old you are?”

Roxas paused, because this was something he remembered thinking about. “I mean...Sora’s what, fifteen? So I guess that means I am too, kind of. But...technically, I was created a year ago, almost exactly.”

“...created?” the nurse’s pen paused on the clipboard in its scribbling.

“Yeah,” Roxas said again, wondering why Axel wasn’t helping to explain. “I was created. I’m a Nobody. You know, when a person becomes a Heartless, and they have a strong heart, a Nobody is created. I’m Sora’s Nobody, so we’re kind of the same age.”

He saw the Nurse looking at Axel in confusion. The redhead shrugged, but looked a little stiff. “I told you, he’s a big jumbled mess. He was mentioning the Heartless earlier. He goes to RGC for history.”

Roxas squashed down his irritation at his friend, looking over at Nurse Celia, who seemed much more forthcoming and patient, even as Roxas’ mind was going into overdrive trying to fill in the blanks of what they were talking about.

“My turn to ask questions?” Roxas asked a little weakly.

The nurse smiled. “Sure, dear.”

“Okay,” Roxas took a breath. “What do you think happened to me?”

The nurse paused as she mulled it over. “Well, from what your friend told us when he brought you in, you were being picked on by a group of bullies, and one of them hit you pretty hard in the head and knocked you out. You crash landed in a cluster of Sinflowers, which if jostled can release a pretty potent toxin that can mess with your mind, including your memory. It’s a good thing that your friend got to you when he did, or you could have gone into anaphylaxis. Your heart might have stopped.”

Roxas felt his blood run cold and he looked at Axel with wide eyes. Roxas...had a heart? Why wasn’t Axel telling him these things? Roxas put a hand on his chest, and sure enough he could feel a steady rhythm beating under his fingers.

The nurse patted Roxas’ shoulder, giving him another smile. “I’m going to get the doctor and let them know you’re awake and that your vitals are good. Should be back in a few minutes, okay?”

Roxas nodded, more anger and confusion swirling in his mind. He had a heart. He had a heart….

He watched the nurse leave, and he heard the redhead take in a sigh.

“Well, this is my cue to leave.”

“Leave?” Roxas frowned. “Where are you going? You’re...not staying?”

Axel scoffed. “I’m only here to make sure you’re alive, which you are. My job is done. I have work to do. I’m not going to babysit you all day when you don’t even know who you are.”

“You’re wrong! I know who I am!” Roxas snapped as his anger bubbled again to the surface. “Come on, what aren’t you telling me? Axel, why are you playing this game with me? You’re supposed to be my friend, so why are you messing with me after everything we’ve been through?”

There was silence in the room before Axel let out a laugh, one that sounded wrong and hollow and made Roxas’ stomach churn. It was very different from the one before.

Green eyes were on him with a fire behind them, one that Roxas hadn’t seen in Axel since he had woken up here. “First off, Rox, I’m not playing anything with you. That’s _your_ job, remember? And secondly, you know how I know I’m right? Because you keep calling me Axel, which you haven’t in almost five years. We’re not friends anymore. My name is Lea now. Got it memorized?”

The fight drained out of Roxas all at once, and he leaned back in the bed. He felt a prickle behind his eyes as they watered with tears. There was an overwhelming pain that bubbled up from inside him, one that wasn’t from his injuries.

_We’re not friends anymore._

“Axel…” he felt so much pain, so much hurt, in a way he had never felt before. What horrible place was this?

The redhead pushed off the wall, cool and collected once again. He made his way toward the door, not bothering to look at Roxas. “Whatever. I’m getting out of here before the cavalry comes in. Hope you get your head on straight again, Roxas.”

Then Axel was gone, leaving Roxas alone in the room with nothing but his thoughts and the sound of the machines beeping around him.

The tears fell from his eyes, and Roxas could feel that there were so much more beneath the surface. It was like a dam, waiting to break, an abyss he was ready to sink into--

There was a loud thundering sound in the distance that caught him off guard, and it took a moment for his mind to register that the sound was coming from _inside_ the hospital, and that it was the smack of shoes running against the tile floor.

Two boys crashed into the room with a shout of Roxas’ name, and Roxas looked up to see who it was, not quite sure if he was ready to face another unknown.

To say he was shocked was an understatement.

Squeezing through the door at the same time were two boys, one who looked identical to Roxas in every way, and another that was painfully familiar.

Sora. Awake and well...and separate from him.

In nearly an instant, the two boys were on either side of Roxas, nearly crashing into his chest. It caused him some pain, and Roxas let out a winded _oof!_ as he was hugged tightly.

“You’re okay!” the one who looked just like him said, his eyes wide and round and full of tears and happiness. “You’re so lucky Mom and Dad aren’t visiting this weekend or you’d be in big trouble! We were so scared, Roxy.”

“Why didn’t you call us?” Sora’s voice was nearly overlapping with equal excitement and relief and worry. “We would have come got you, or even helped you fight.”

“I--” Roxas didn’t even know where to begin. He looked between the two, his mind flailing again in confusion, and he settled on the one question running through his mind. 

“Now boys,” Nurse Celia walked back in with another woman with brown hair and a white labcoat. “Roxas has had a very long day. I know you two are worried about your brother, but you need to be gentle.”

“Brother?” Roxas asked dimly, confusion overwhelming him all over again.

“Rox?” Sora took his hand, squeezing gently as he pulled back and off Roxas’ side. How were the two of them in the same room? How could Sora be awake without him?

“Sorry if I hurt you,” his double said, looking up at him with concern. “You doing okay? You just really had us worried.”

“Who are you, and why do you look like me?”

That was the wrong thing to say, and he instantly regretted his words just from the look on his double’s face. Soft blue eyes recoiled in hurt, the smile vanished from his face and fell. Eyebrows came together in concern and confusion, and Roxas had an odd churning in his stomach, not wanting his so-called brother to have that expression there.

“I’m...sorry,” Roxas said, shaking his head, settling on a half-truth. “I got hit with the Sinflower toxin, and my memories are...a messed up jumble.”

His doppelganger’s expression cleared. The pain was gone and now replaced with worry. He took Roxas’ other hand and squeezed it, a small smile tugging at his lips that felt like sunshine.

“I’m sorry, Rox,” he said. “I’m Ventus. Ven. I’m your brother. Your twin brother.”

Sora squeezed Roxas’ hand to draw his attention to the brunette. Sora’s expression was as equally like sunshine, and Roxas found that between the two he was swept up in a feeling like everything was going to be okay.

“Do you know who I am?” Sora asked, blue eyes clear on him.

For the first time, Roxas finally had an answer to a question. He knew _something_ , even if from the nurse and Axel’s expression earlier, he couldn’t say the whole truth about Nobodies and Heartless.

“Yeah,” Roxas said easily, finding a small smile at his lips. “You’re Sora.”

The smile that Sora gave him was blinding.

“Don’t worry, Roxas,” Sora said, hugging him, just as Ven did the same on Roxas’ other side. Despite the pain, Roxas finally felt a little at ease, and gingerly put his arms around the two. “We’re gonna help you.”

“Yeah,” Ven said easily. “The three of us are always a team. Family, always.”

Family. Roxas had never had a family before. Nobodies were created, not born, and so siblings never existed. Roxas was always alone, and had never felt lonely because he couldn’t.

But he had a heart, he had a new life, and he had a family.

Despite his utter confusion as to where he was, for the first time in his existence, Roxas finally felt comfort.


	2. Figure 8.13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas does a little recon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much Axel and Roxas interaction in this one, but it's mostly just setting up Roxas' life and answering some questions. Also lots of wholesome brotherly moments because honestly the three of these boys are just so precious. Thank you for everyone who left kudos, bookmarked or commented!!

For the second time today, Roxas woke up in a completely unfamiliar room.

The trip home from the hospital had been a blur, both from his swirling thoughts and the painkillers that the doctors had given him that made him feel like he was pleasantly floating. He vaguely remembered Sora and Ventus leading him into a car, driving to a house and walking him up the stairs. He barely registered anything except a big comfy bed and promptly passed out again.

Hours later, he woke up feeling more clear headed, the pain from his wounds a dull throb in the background. 

He blinked as he looked around the room, taking in the space and decor. There were posters that were mostly black and white along the walls, what looked like a mix of music bands and art of nature, or other things that Roxas didn’t fully understand. There was a guitar in the corner and a skateboard propped up against the wall next to the dresser. Clothes were strewn about casually on the floor, the desk immaculate with a computer in the center. A bookshelf with volumes of textbooks and notebooks, and a few photos. He got up to take a closer look at the framed photograph and saw it was one of him, Venus, and Sora, the two boys looking like they were trying to get a piggyback ride from Roxas, who had a sour face but was still smiling.

_ I’m in his room,_ Roxas thought.  _ Roxas’. The one they think I am. _

This was recon. Just like his training. He needed to investigate this world, the way it worked. Why he was here, and how he got here so that he could get back to his own.

He was in another world, one where Roxas and Sora were brothers, not two halves of one heart. And Ventus was Roxas’ brother too, a twin who looked just like him. And Axel was there, real and just as sassy but who wore jeans instead of his cloak and went by a different name and wasn’t friends with this Roxas.

The pain was back, not the one in his head from his injury, but deep inside him. The thought of he and Axel not being friends, the thought that felt so...miserable.

Roxas had a heart. He could feel things now. Things he thought he had felt before, but were now so...vibrant, debilitating.

“Roxas?”

A voice that sounded like his own brought him out of his thoughts, and he saw Ventus in the doorway with a plate in his hand. “Hey, Rox. I made pizza.”

It took Roxas a moment to fully process what his so-called twin had said, but the smell of food hit him and his stomach growled. He blushed a little in embarrassment, chuckling. “Right on time, I guess. Thanks, uh, Ven.”

Ven gave Roxas a smile as he handed the plate to him, and Roxas hadn’t even remembered the last time he ate. Probably in Twilight Town, and he wasn’t even sure if that was real food. He took a bite, relishing in the greasy, cheesy slice of heaven.

Ventus sat on the edge of the bed, watching with fondness as Roxas scarfed down the slice. “How are you feeling? I went to check on you earlier but you were out cold. I was almost worried until you snored.”

“I don’t snore,” Roxas said almost on reflex, frowning before he shook his head and smiled. “But yeah, those pills the doctor gave me really put me down. I’m, um. Feeling better. My head doesn’t hurt as much, and my face doesn’t feel like it’s on fire when I talk anymore.”

“That’s good,” Ven said. “They gave you something for the swelling in your eye, so hopefully it won’t feel as bad from now on. But that’s physically. How are you feeling, you know, mentally? Any memories return when you woke up?”

Roxas saw the hopefulness in the boy’s eyes, but he shook his head truthfully. “No. I’m sorry. I...still don’t remember you.”

Roxas could tell that it hurt the other boy, and he felt a twinge of guilt at that. But he didn’t want to lie either. Ventus just gave a smile though. “It’s okay, Rox. I mean, it’s not like it’s your fault you can’t remember.”

Roxas sighed. “That’s the thing, though. I...don’t know if it’s that I can’t remember. I think...I don’t think I’m your Roxas. I think I’m in a different world entirely.”

Ventus frowned, not quite understanding. “Oh?”

“Everyone keeps telling me that my memories are wrong. That I’m this person who I know I’m not. But I know who I am. I have memories of an entirely different lifetime. And I...think I’m just in the wrong place.”

Ven was quiet for a moment, and Roxas felt like he had made a mistake confiding in this person who looked just like him. But the other boy continued on. “Well, that sounds horrible for you to be going through that. I mean, everyone is so focused on what you  _ don’t _ remember but I don’t think anyone’s really talked about what you  _ do _ remember.”

Roxas was silent for a moment, hesitant. But he had had an entirely different lifetime shoved into him in the span of a week, for it only to be entirely fake. His entire life in Twilight Town wasn’t real, that Roxas wasn’t real, even if it was still a part of him somehow. He wasn’t sure he could handle being in another simulation, if that’s what it was.

He wasn’t sure what to tell this boy who looked just like him. Roxas felt like he was lost, that he finally had found himself when he got his true memories back and saw Sora in the pod only to be lost again in this new unfamiliar world. But Ventus seemed so genuine, so gentle and kind, and Roxas looked into those blue eyes and felt a pang of familiarity before. His thoughts flashed back to the clocktower, except it wasn’t Axel it was missing. It was--it was--

And then the memory was gone.

“I don’t even know where to start,” Roxas said. “I was a Nobody, with a capital N. People without hearts, born when someone loses theirs. I was Sora’s Nobody, apparently. Axel was another Nobody, and we worked for an Organization that wanted to destroy the Heartless so that we could all get our hearts and be our own people. I did missions, going to other worlds, fighting Heartless. Except, I kept seeing Sora in my memories, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t know who he was. When I found him, I...woke up here. In the hospital.”

Ventus was quiet for a long moment as he took in Roxas’ story. Roxas didn’t go into great detail, still processing and understanding it himself, and not sure how much he should be telling Ven.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Roxas said with a sigh, looking down.

“I believe that you believe it, and that’s good enough for me,” Ven said with a nod. “I’ve never heard of Nobodies. But I do know Heartless are real. Or at least they were. They all went extinct about a thousand years ago, during the Second Keyblade War. And other worlds exist, but no one from here has ever traveled to them since the Heartless went extinct.”

“Oh.” Roxas wasn’t quite sure of what to make of that. Was it possible that he somehow...traveled here a different way then?

“So there’s two theories right now what’s happening to you, right?” Ven asked. “The first one: you’re my brother Roxas. You got infected with a toxin that messes with your memories, plus a lot of head trauma, and your memories are scrambled. You’re a History student who studies stuff like the Heartless and the Keyblade Wars, so maybe you just have a lifetime of memories that got scrambled into another lifetime of memories. And those’ll go away, and you’ll remember your life here.”

“Okay.” Roxas wasn’t quite sure if he liked that option. He knew who he was, he knew that the memories he had had to have been real...right? “What’s the second theory?”

“That you’re some...alternate reality Roxas inhabiting my brother’s body, or you swapped entirely,” Ven said. “Which, is crazy and the chances of that are slim. But hey, I read comics, and you never know, right? But whereas the first theory is clean and cut, the second theory is...kinda scary.”

“Scary?” Roxas frowned. “Why scary?”

“Because,” Ven said. “If you’re not my brother, or you switched places with my brother, then where is my Roxas? And I really don’t want to think of that.”

Roxas was dumbstruck at the question. He wasn’t sure he was comfortable with the idea of that, that maybe Ventus’ brother was running around in an Organization cloak and a Keyblade without having a clue what was going on. Or that maybe that Roxas was the one who had joined Sora’s heart. That made his stomach churn.

But Ven gave a bright smile. “But I’m hopeful, and I’m going with the first one. Because for the obvious reason, you said you don’t have a heart. But you do. It’s beating, right there.”

He pointed to Roxas’ chest, and Roxas gave a small smile at that.

“And besides,” Ven continued. “Even if you never get your memory back, and you still have another lifetime of memories inside you, then that just means we get to know each other all over again! Isn’t it most people’s dream to have a long lost twin?”

Roxas found himself chuckling, despite his unease at the thought of wherever the real Roxas of this world could be. “You sure do see the bright side of things, don’t you?”

“I try,” Ven said. “I’m usually the glass is half full one brother, and you’re the glass is half empty brother.”

“And Sora?”

“Sora’s the brother filling up everyone’s glass just trying to be helpful,” Ven said and chuckled. Roxas found himself smiling a little despite that.

Roxas picked up the framed photo of the three of them, running his fingers gently over the glass. “So, the three of us, we’re close?”

“Oh yeah,” Ven said brightly. “Sora’s a year younger than us. We do pretty much everything together, ever since we were kids. No matter what happens, we’re always here for each other. We’re best friends. Inseparable.”

Roxas stiffened at the last word, a memory coming to mind of he and Axel on the clocktower watching the sunset.

_ “How are they inseparable? It’s not like they were joined at the hip.” _

_ “Well I think you can be separate even if you’re apart.” _

_ “Really?” _

_ “Sure. If you’re really close to each other. If you’re best friends.” _

_ “What’s it like having a best friend, Axel?” _

_ “Couldn’t tell ya. I don’t have one.” _

_ “Oh…” _

The memory hit Roxas hard, and without realizing it, Roxas found that his vision was blurry with tears that spilled down his cheeks. He missed Axel so much.

“Ven?” Roxas asked, putting down the photo beside him on the bed. “What...happened to me and Axel? He was there when I woke up in the hospital. He said he had helped me, but...he seemed so...angry. He said we weren’t friends anymore. That we hadn’t been for years.”

“Axel…” Ven shook his head. “He goes by Lea now. Axel was a nickname you gave him. I...don’t know the details, Rox. You two were best friends since we were kids, just as much as you and me and Sora. But the first year of high school something happened and you just....stopped being friends. You’d always fight and you’d get touchy when me or Sora tried to ask what happened. I don’t know what happened, Rox. You never told us. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Roxas said, hating the sad puppy look on his twin’s face. It reminded Roxas of someone he was close to, but he couldn’t remember. His memories really were a jumbled mess. “In my memories, in the life I remember...me and Axel were best friends. Still are.”

“Then seeing him like that must have been really hard,” Ven said with a frown, before he brightened again. “I know! I mean, maybe if you get your memories back it’ll be different. But until then, you seem to really care about him and you want to be his best friend, right? And he brought you to the hospital, and he waited until you woke up, so that means he has to still care about you too! So maybe you can patch things up, and be friends again, and everything’ll work out!”

Roxas gave Ven a smile. He felt so much better with his so-called twin’s presence, but he was beginning to feel a little tired again. “Yeah. That seems like a really good idea, Ven.”

It did. Maybe until he understood how to get back home, he could at least try to make things right with Axel. He didn’t know what had happened between Axel and the Roxas of this world, but he couldn’t imagine a world where they weren’t friends. Maybe he was sent here on a mission, for a chance to repair things that were wrong in this Roxas’ life.

“There’s more pizza downstairs, unless Sora stole the rest. I can throw in another if you want, or if you want anything else just say the word and I’ll bring you whatever you need.”

“Thanks, Ven,” he said with a smile. “He’s lucky to have you.”

Ven’s smile paused for a moment, but he shook his head. “Get some sleep, or study or something. Hopefully something’ll jog your memory. Sora’ll probably be checking up on you soon. Um...it might not be a good idea if you tell him about the other world stuff. He gets really worried and he’d probably just never leave your side.”

Roxas had a vague recollection of his fake life in the fake Twilight Town, with parents that took care of him when he was sick. But this felt more real, and he felt more comforted. Even if the care wasn’t directed completely at him, but at the brother they thought he was.

Ven went back down the stairs, and Roxas let out a breath. Roxas was alone again, but he found himself much more grounded than when he had first woken up in the hospital. His mind was still full of questions, but at least he had some answers and direction. And Ven seemed to be more than willing to listen, even if he didn’t quite believe Roxas.

Roxas got up as he went to the bookshelf with all of the textbooks, inspecting their titles. He was reminded of the textbooks that he used to carry around in the fake Twilight Town, or at least the fake memories of him doing that.

Two lives still lived inside him, Roxas as a Nobody and part of Organization XIII who carried out missions and defeated Heartless with a Keyblade, and the fake Roxas who lived in the simulation of a fake Twilight Town, who was a student and had a simulated childhood. The second life was more of a dream now, but he at least had learned some invaluable skills, like studying.

History. It had been boring from what Roxas had remembered, lots of dates and dead people that Roxas had to memorize, until he and Hayner started passing notes to each other out of boredom that had made Roxas laugh.

He guessed Axel wasn’t the only one he missed, as he thought back to Hayner, Pence and Olette. He doubted the real ones even knew who he was.

He shook his head, grabbing a textbook and opened it to a random page.

One crisis at a time.

\---

_ It is said that the Keyblade Warriors came from different worlds, including one from Radiant Garden. While there are little surviving details surrounding this Keyblade Warrior, archaeologists have uncovered art that depicts what they believe is the hero from our very own homeworld (see Figure 8.13). _

Roxas snorted as he looked at the corresponding artwork. A figure in an Organization-issued hooded cloak in a background of beautiful stained glass that seemed a little worn from the years. At the figure’s side was a bright orange and yellow Keyblade that looked like fire, with a red and silver handle that reminded Roxas of Axel’s chakrams.

Either they thought Roxas was a foot taller and had a fire Keyblade, or they thought Axel was the Keyblade wielder.

That’d be rich.

Roxas flipped through a couple more pages, skimming over the words. After a few minutes of doing so, he stopped when he spotted handwriting in the margins that matched his own.

Another picture of stained glass, this time with a brunette with spiky hair holding a silver Keyblade with a familiar yellow handle, the same one that first had found its way to Roxas. Despite the brunette facing away in the image, Roxas found himself recognizing the figure in his memories. The brunette wore a black and red outfit, but Roxas remembered seeing the same Keyblade Warrior in red shorts and yellow shoes in his memories.

“Sora…” he murmured, fingers tracing over the photo. The handwriting next to the photo was his own, scribbled with ‘ _ Sky Warrior?’ _

Roxas felt a pang of guilt again seeing the handwriting, the casual notes in the margin. A reminder that Roxas was inhabiting the body and life of someone else. A stolen life, a stolen heart.

_ If you’re not my brother, then where is my Roxas? _ Ven’s casual question haunted Roxas again, and Roxas slammed the book shut.

He didn’t want to think about it.

After a few moments as Roxas began to collect himself, he let out a breath. Panicking would do absolutely nothing to bring the other Roxas back, or to get him home. He needed answers, he needed to understand this world and the other Roxas’ life.

He opened up the textbook again, finding a series of photos of different types of Heartless. Drawings and artwork again, or even digitally rendered ideas of what they would be like. Roxas recognized most of them, some of them Pureblood and some of them not. There was no differentiation between the two though, and Roxas was curious if that was something seemingly lost to time.

A photo struck him and he paused. A depiction of a desert wasteland, with a series of Keyblades sticking out of the ground.  _ The Fallen Warriors, _ the caption read.

_ After the destruction, the power of Kingdom Hearts was still sought after by many who wanted to unleash its darkness. Those who tried forged Keyblades into the image of the original X-Blade to mimic the First Darkness. Others forged Keyblades to mimic the light in opposition. _

Roxas frowned, sighing in frustration. He didn’t understand anything the book was talking about. Keyblades, Kingdom Hearts. He thought back to the glowing heart in the sky of the Castle That Never Was that Xemnas seemed so proud about, saying it would complete them.

He never forged a Keyblade for Darkness or Light, it just appeared to him with his creation, he was pretty sure.

“I hate this!” Roxas growled, throwing the book to the ground, hearing it fall with a loud thump. He groaned as the pain in his head came back from the movement.

“Roxas?”

Roxas was near about to snap when the name called to him. He turned to the doorway, seeing Sora standing there with a look of concern on his face. He was holding two rectangles of white plastic in a near replica image of Ventus earlier.

“Hey,” Roxas said, ignoring the embarrassment creeping up that Sora just saw him lose his mind. “I was reading.”

“Yeah,” Sora said with a sort of breathy chuckle, the worry in his eyes starting to clear as if Roxas did this sort of thing all the time. “I noticed. Memories not coming back?”

Roxas shook his head. “Ventus said I should try to study to see if it brought anything back. But it’s just more confusing.”

“Well you’re in a more advanced history too. You might just need to start from the beginning. But here.” Sora entered the room, handing him one of the white plastic rectangles. “This might jog your memory.”

Roxas took it, frowning as he examined it. It was just plain and white. “It’s cold.”

“Well open it, silly,” Sora said with a small chuckle.

Roxas did, carefully peeling away the plastic, revealing a familiar bright blue ice cream bar. “Oh. Sea salt ice cream!”

“Yeah!” Sora brightened. “It’s your favorite, remember?”

Roxas definitely did. Memories flooded to mind of sitting on a clocktower in Organization coats and sunsets. Axel to his right, and--and...was there someone else on his right? No. Just the two of them, always. “It is my favorite.”

“Does it remind you of anything?” Sora asked it innocently, but Roxas’ belly tightened. He was pretty positive Sora wasn’t referring to his time in Twilight Town as a Nobody, but something from the other Roxas’ life.

“It...reminds me of Axel,” Roxas finally settled on. “We used to have these all the time.”

Sora’s face went through a series of emotions and Roxas wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but eventually the brunette smiled. “Yeah. When you were kids. You and Ax--Lea. He’d come over and watch the sunset with you from the rooftop. Me and Ven would sometimes join, and we’d all have ice cream together.”

Roxas gave a small smile at that image. Some things didn’t seem to change between worlds. The other Roxas seemed to have had a good past, one that Roxas felt a little envy toward. His stomach twisted again at the thought.

“What did you want it to remind me of?”

Sora brushed back a brown spike from his face. “Well...you told me once that sea salt ice cream reminded you of home.”

“Home?”

The closest thing Roxas had to home was the castle.

“Yeah. We grew up on an island and moved here when we were really little. The sea salt reminded you of tasting the ocean in the air. Like home.”

The island…

Roxas was pretty sure he’d never been to an island in his life, but an image of sand, of a large body of water, of pretty sunsets over the water and palm trees came to mind.

“Those are your memories,” Roxas said and frowned at Sora.

Sora shook his head, misinterpreting his words. “It’ll come back. But hey! You remember eating ice cream with Lea and that’s great! Ven said that he was there when you woke up?”

“Lea…” the name sounded foreign on his lips. “Yeah. He said we weren’t friends anymore.”

Sora shook his head. “Maybe. You guys had a bad fight our first year of high school. You never really talked about it. But I don’t think you ever stopped caring about each other. The two of you...you’re great friends. I still have a lot of hope for you two.”

He said it like some kind of inside joke, and Roxas wasn’t sure what he meant by that. But it warmed him to think maybe there was a chance to repair things, and Roxas could at least do this--side mission on his way to get back to his world.

“Ven said we were best friends,” Roxas said. “Me and Ax--Lea.”

“Yeah,” Sora said with a nod. “Just like you and me and Ven are. And oh! You have other friends too. Lots of people who we go to school with who have been pretty worried about you.”

“School,” Roxas paused. “At...Radiant Garden College.”

“Yeah! You remember!” Roxas didn’t have the heart to tell Sora in that instant that he figured it out from the logo on his notebooks. “You know what, Roxas? You should come to school with me and Ven tomorrow. You don’t normally have class on Tuesday, so it’ll just be a hang out day. Being at school might help get your memories back, and you won’t have to be worried about being in class. And you’ll be around friends!”

Sora was a whirlwind of energy compared to Ven’s calming light. Roxas found himself confused, but something about Sora made Roxas feel as though he could trust whatever the other said. “Um...okay.”

It would help with his recon anyway.

“Awesome!” Sora said with a grin. “So it’s settled, you’re coming with me and Ven tomorrow and we show you around and have fun.”

Roxas made a face. He remembered liking school well enough at Twilight Town, but that was not a word he equated with it. “Fun.”

“Yep, fun,” Sora said, finishing his ice cream bar and placed the stick back in the wrapper. He took the wrapper from the bar that Roxas had quickly finished. “Me and Ven are gonna watch a movie in a few minutes. You should come join us.”

“I…” Roxas paused, feeling like he’d be intruding in a moment not meant for him. “I should study.”

“Pleaaaaase?” Sora gave a toothy grin and pleading eyes that were a little exaggerated, and Roxas found himself huffing in fondness.

“Okay. Fine.”

“Awesome!” Sora said. “Because if you said no, I was gonna tell you your pain meds were downstairs and you’d have to come down to take them.”

“You were going to bribe me?”

“No, absolutely not,” Sora said but it wasn’t entirely convincing. 

Roxas found himself laughing, wondering how he could have spent so long hating this boy.

He followed Sora downstairs, where Ven was laying on one of the couches with a large bowl of popcorn in his arms. “Oh hey! I just got everything set up. And I made kettle corn.”

Roxas glanced around the unfamiliar room, starting to feel the edge of shyness creeping up as he was out of the sanctuary of the room he’d been staying in, another reminder that he was assuming the identity of a doppelganger from another world.

But Roxas was getting restless and bored in that room, and found himself feeling better when he was around his other’s brothers. And he did enjoy movie nights with Hayner, Pence, and Olette. If those even happened.

“Here,” Sora said, bringing Roxas a pill bottle with a glass of water. “Doc said you’re supposed to eat with this, so make sure you eat lots of popcorn, okay?”

Roxas nodded, taking the pill. “I don’t suppose you guys have potions I could just take that would just heal me, or magic?”

Ven laughed, shaking his head, as if Roxas was joking. “Man, I wish.”

Roxas settled on the couch opposite of where Ven was laying as the movie started, with Sora taking the recliner between the two. He grabbed a handful of popcorn and absolutely dug in, the sweetness and saltiness reminding him of the sea salt ice cream but in popcorn form. He vaguely heard Sora and Ventus bickering over the blankets in the background, much like Roxas would with Hayner.

Before long, the movie started on their big TV, with a plot that Roxas mostly followed until the pain meds began to kick in and his brain began to get pleasantly fuzzy. He yawned, eyes closing, feeling content. 

On the edge of his consciousness as he was drifting off, Roxas felt the warm softness drape over him as one of the boys put the blanket over their brother. Before sleep claimed him again, he felt a comforting hand run through Roxas’ hair.


	3. Uncanny Valley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys bring Roxas to college. Roxas isn't exactly sure how he feels about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of exposition as well, just setting up the routine. I would say the twins are about 19, with Sora being 18. There's minimal interaction of Axel/Roxas in here again, but I promise next chapter will have a lot more. I am so overwhelmed with the amount of love y'all are giving me!!
> 
> I find the trope of Roxas being this angry, violent kid to be something I'm not a fan of. Roxas is a sweet boy who got (understandably) frustrated when everyone was using him for things. But from playing in Days when he's not being used he's actually a really sweet kid who welcomes everyone. But he's also a lot quieter than Sora, and a bit more 'young' in some ways.

The next morning Roxas woke up with a heaviness as he was shaken from his sleep. He was usually an easy sleeper, but the medication made him especially sluggish and he was sleeping in a nice warm pile of blankets.

“Time for school!” Sora’s voice shouted all too cheerfully for whatever ungodly hour it was.

Roxas groaned and tugged the blankets higher, burrowing into the beautiful warmth.

_ “Roooxaaas!” _ Sora’s voice cut in again as the blankets were tugged off him. “If you weren’t injured I’d jump on you.”

Roxas sat up, yawning. He noticed he was still in the living room, the events of the day before settling in his mind. New world, other Roxas’ life, new heart, new brothers. New mission. “Time’s’it?”

“It’s about eight,” Ven said, putting on a pair of socks. “Hey, your face is a different color.”

Roxas paused, eyes widening. What, was that something that happened in this world?!

“Your black eye is healing,” Sora clarified, pointing to his own eye. “It’s like a purple with some yellow on the outside. Not as scary as yesterday.”

Roxas touched his face gingerly. It didn’t hurt as much either. His face didn’t feel like it was on fire, rather just a dull tightness. “Oh.”

“You gotta change your bandage on your head too,” Sora said. “I have a shower cap that you can use so your wound doesn’t get wet. And I can help you put on new bandages too when you’re done.”

“Okay,” Roxas said, blinking. Too many things at once.

“Sora,” Ven chided his brother with a grin. “Tone it down. You know Roxas doesn’t function in the morning. And he’s got a messed up head.”

“Better than a messed up face,” Roxas replied, a reflex from his friendship with Hayner. He flushed from embarrassment as the words left his mouth, ready to apologize before Ven laughed.

“We have the same face, dork,” Ven snorted, and Sora did too. Something eased within Roxas.

“Alright, Rox,” Sora said. “We let you sleep, but you should probably shower and brush your teeth. If you need help with anything, let us know.”

“And then breakfast,” Ven beamed.

Breakfast sounded really good. Roxas got out of bed, making his way around the small apartment. It was a split level three bedroom, just the kitchen and living room downstairs and a small room with a tiny washer and dryer, with the three boys’ bedrooms upstairs along with the shared bathroom.

He paused when he got to the bathroom, seeing his reflection in the mirror and extent of his injuries and his appearance.

It was still weird to see him as he did now, a couple years older. Not much taller, only a couple inches. His face was less round, cheekbones more defined and thinned. His right cheek was swollen, tight when he smiled or moved his mouth too wide. The boys had been right though, the crescent shaped bruise that spanned from his eyebrow to the curve between his eye and the bridge of his nose, coming to a faded end on his cheek was less an angry deep red-black as it had been yesterday, and was more of a dark purple with yellowing edges. He supposed that was a good thing, a sign of healing.

Carefully he peeled the tape and gauze off the wound on his forehead, hissing just a little as the gauze stuck to him a little. The injury was a circle of red, a sign that he was hit by something, or perhaps where he had landed. In the center was a deep gash, the outer parts still a little swollen and certainly tender.

He longed for his potions, his Cure magic. This was something that could be remedied in the span of a moment in the Castle, or at least even on the other worlds that he had visited. But no matter how hard he tried, there was no green light that came from his fingertips. No magic, and Roxas sighed. It seemed that this medication he was taking was at least faster than nothing, hopefully in the next couple days his wounds would be gone.

He showered quickly before heading back to the other Roxas’ room, rummaging through the clothes that he guessed were clean. He wasn’t so sure he wanted a bandage covering his forehead, especially around new people, and after he put on a simple t-shirt with what he guessed was some music band, he found a black hoodie that reminded him comfortingly of the Organization cloak. He pulled the hood over his head and flattened his spikes to try to cover the wound.

After a few more minutes of rummaging, he found a backpack that he crammed a notebook and a couple textbooks into, as well as his laptop and headed downstairs where the others were.

Sora and Ven were chatting in the living room, and if Roxas looked out of character in his entirely black hooded attire, they didn’t mention it.

Sora helped put a new bandage on, fixing the hood so most of it was covered, and Roxas was grateful for that. 

“Ready?” Sora asked, once he was done.

“Uh,” Roxas made a noise and swallowed, his legs feeling tight and almost like he was unable to move. He wasn’t sure exactly what was wrong with him.

Sora seemed to recognize whatever was happening to Roxas though, and his eyes softened and he gave him a soft smile. “You’re nervous? It’s okay. You’ve been here a hundred times.”

“You don’t have to come with us,” Ven offered. “You can stay home while we’re gone. We got some cereal and--”

“No,” Roxas found himself saying. As much as he wasn’t sure about the college, the thought of being without the boys made him more...nervous. “Sorry. I'm fine. I’m not nervous.”

Because Roxas was a Nobody, and Nobodies didn’t have feelings. It was just maybe the memories of when he was a Somebody  _ (Sora _ ) and not the actual feeling. Except...now he had a heart, and these things felt  _ real _ to him.

“It’s okay to be nervous,” Sora said, squeezing Roxas’ arm. “It’s like your first day all over again. And I know I was super nervous my first day.”

“Sora cried,” Ven said helpfully, and Roxas felt a small smile tug at his lips.

“Yeah,” Sora gave him a glare that held no heat. “But you know what helped? Knowing that no matter what, you and Ven were there with me. Just like now, we’re both here with you.”

Roxas smiled at the prospect of the trio. It reminded Roxas of the trio he had at home. Him, Axel, and--and who?

“Okay,” Roxas said. “Let’s go.”

Besides--he’d been to castles with Heartless monsters and desert storms and caves. College couldn’t be that scary compared to that, right?

\-- --

_ “Roxas!” _

_ The shout cut through the noise of the school as Olette ran up to him through the sea of students. She stopped in front of him, surveying the cut to his lip that he had been sporting since yesterday afternoon. “Oh, Roxas. You really need to stop letting him get to you.” _

_ Roxas batted her hand away as she seemed about to poke his split lip. “Hey, cut it out Olette. I’m fine! Plus, Seifer was the one who started it.” _

_ “Still,” Olette murmured, but her eyes were soft. “You don’t want that to get on your transcript! Aren’t you worried about college?” _

_ Roxas shrugged. “I’m not sure I’m cut out for college. I haven’t really thought about it. I don’t even know what I wanna do, ‘lette. And if they don’t let me in for that, then that’s on them.” _

_ Olette sighed. “Well, it was a really sweet thing you did, you know, sticking up for Hayner. Even if he’d never admit it.” _

_ “It was nothing,” Roxas huffed, eyes dipping down as he felt heat rise to his cheeks. “He’s my best friend, so it’s whatever. It’s fine.” _

_ Olette sighed, shaking her head fondly. “Boys…” _

\-- --

College was terrifying.

For one, despite the fact that Radiant Garden College was supposedly a small college in comparison to others in the area, it was  _ huge _ compared to Twilight Town High School. Twi High only had one building, and RGC had what seemed like countless buildings, some even multiple stories high.

For two, Twi High had about four hundred students in total, and RGC had what was probably thousands. 

Roxas wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen so many people in his entire existence.

He found himself shrinking a little into his hoodie, swallowing as he tried his best to take in the surroundings, the movement of bodies and the overwhelming noise. He took a step back, only to have an arm loop through his.

“Hey,” Sora said from his side, eyes soft and kind. “I know it’s pretty big and scary. Do you recognize any of it?”

Roxas shook his head, silent.

“You look like you did on your first day,” Ven said as he looped his arm into Roxas’ other side. “You ended up running off campus to a gas station almost half a mile away.”

That sounded like a really good idea. Roxas wasn’t sure he’d ever been around this many people. It went against everything in his training about being  _ stealthy. _

“If you need a minute, we can head outside,” Sora offered, concern evident in his voice. “Or go to an empty classroom or something.”

Despite the wobbliness in his legs, Roxas shook his head. He was a trained assassin, a warrior, and he could complete a basic mission like...going into a building. Besides, he was hungry. “You said--breakfast?”

“Yeah,” Sora said, gently squeezing Roxas’ arm. “Cafeteria is down the stairs to the left.”

The brothers led Roxas down a short flight of stairs and down another hallway, where there had been a line of students waiting. They showed Roxas how to load up his plate at the buffet with their own recommendations.

“We get two meals a day since we have a student apartment,” Ven explained as Sora broke from the two to explore the rest of the buffet with a sort of manic look in his eye. “And it’s all you can eat in one sitting. So when you’re ready, just hand the cashier your student ID.”

Roxas watched as the students ahead of Ven did just that, and he took his ID from his pocket. When it was his turn, he handed the card with his smiling face that said  _ Roxas Strife _ in bold letters to the cashier and carried his tray of food to where Ven was standing.

“Alright, let’s get our table,” Ven said, turning toward the sea of bodies in the cafeteria.

Roxas looked over his shoulder, where Sora was still contemplating between the different types of mac and cheese further back. “Shouldn’t we wait for Sora?”

Ven shook his head. “He always takes forever when there’s a new lineup. Besides, he knows where we’ll be sitting. The usual spot.”

The phrase sent another pang through him, thinking back to the small little cove that he and Hayner and Pence and Olette had carved out in Twilight Town. He nodded, trusting his twin and letting him lead the way.

Ven thankfully made a beeline past the crowds of students, to a small door on the side of the cafeteria that led to a small room filled with vending machines and a handful of large booths that made a U-shape.

“This is where people come if they need to study and eat,” Ven said. “Thankfully we always have to do both.”

“Roxas!” a familiar voice greeted him cheerfully. It took Roxas a moment to recognize just who was at the table, even as Ven put his tray down and Roxas followed suit.

He brightened as he saw Olette, noticing some other familiar faces.

“Sick shiner,” Hayner greeted him, nodding approvingly at Roxas’ face.

“How are you feeling?” Pence asked as he scooped up a spoonful of mac and cheese. “It’s good to see you up and about.”

Roxas was glad he put his tray down on the table, or he’d have dropped it. Hayner, Pence, and Olette, there and  _ remembering him. _ A girl with blue hair sat on Ven’s side, along with a redheaded girl on the opposite side of the booth.

“Hayner! Pence! Olette!” Roxas couldn’t help but shout excitedly. “I really missed you guys!”

“Dude, chill,” Hayner said with a snort, stealing a fry from Roxas’ tray. “You saw us yesterday. Man, Seifer must have really concussed you.”

“I just...I didn’t think I’d ever see you guys again,” Roxas said in a rush. He noticed Ven’s odd expression, alongside the others’ and he felt heat rise to his cheeks as he realized he was gushing to total strangers and that it wasn’t  _ his _ friends but the other Roxas’. “I got, uh...too close to the Sinflowers and my head’s all foggy-like. So I don’t know mostly anyone, or, um...this school even. Most of my memories are jumbled.”

The eyes turned sympathetic, even Hayner’s. For Hayner, anyway. Roxas was starting to grow tired of the lie and it wasn't even a full day of it.

“That’s a pretty dangerous flower,” Olette said. “What were you doing there, Roxas?”

“Inhaling too many spores can be lethal,” Pence said. “It’s really good you’re okay.”

“Why the hell do they keep that kinda thing on school grounds?” Hayner asked, fire ablaze in his eyes once more. “That kinda sounds messed up if it’s so easy to die from that. You should sue Seifer and the school. Become a millionaire.”

“Because it’s an endangered species,” the girl with the blue hair said, and everyone fell into what seemed like a reverent hush. “Sinflowers have amazing medicinal properties. They can regrow neural pathways that have been lost to things like dementia or head trauma that before couldn’t have been recovered. The school grows them to preserve them, and keeps them fenced off with lots of signs. I’m guessing this fight happened in the gardens where you weren’t meant to be seen.”

“So you’re saying Seifer was trying to kill Roxas?” Hayner blinked, before he was slapped upside the head by the redhead next to him.

The blue haired girl had caught Roxas off guard. She looked so familiar, but Roxas knew he had never met her a day in his short existence. Luckily, she seemed to have read his mind, giving him a warm smile.

“You don’t remember me.” It wasn’t a question, the way she said it. “It’s okay. I’m Aqua.”

“I’m sorry,” Roxas said. He hated disappointing the other Roxas’ friends who all seemed so nice.

“It’s okay. Ventus said you didn’t remember him either,” she said, and the knot of guilt was back in Roxas’ stomach. Ven nudged him as if sensing that, and Roxas felt the knot loosen. “I’m getting my degree in Neurology, so I know a little about that.”

“So if Roxas doesn’t remember us, we should go around with names and pronouns,” Olette said, putting her hands together. “And probably tell anyone else at the table who comes in.”

“I’ll start,” the redhead said, introducing herself as Kairi. Sora’s best friend since childhood apparently.

Roxas already knew Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and Aqua introduced herself too.

“There’s Sora!” Kairi said cheerfully and Roxas looked up in relief as he saw the brunette making his way to their booth, setting his tray down alongside Roxas.

“Hey, did I miss anything?” Sora asked, looking around, before noticing Kairi stealing a fry from his plate, much in the way Hayner had stolen one from Roxas’ earlier. “Hey!”

“We just introduced ourselves,” Olette said. “Roxas remembered me and Hayner and Pence, but I don’t think anyone else.”

“Awesome!” Sora said enthusiastically, nudging Roxas’ side. “That’s progress!”

“Yeah,” Roxas said, picking at his food. He didn’t want to say that the reason for that was knowing a different trio from his home world.

“This is where we usually come and hang out,” Ven explained. “These booths are for people who want to study or eat, and usually one of us is here so it’s kinda unofficially been our table since the beginning of the year. Aqua is a TA, and takes her classes in the super early mornings so she’s always here for breakfast. My classes are usually either in the late morning or early afternoon, and same for most everyone else. We have some people who also take evening classes too. So...we’re usually all switching around for breakfast and lunch.”

“And sometimes Ven likes to sleep here,” Hayner said casually.

“That was one time!”

The group laughed, and Roxas found the laughter to be infectious. He still felt off-balance as he’d been thrown into this other life, but he was around good people and even recognized or knew most of them now.

“It’s a good room,” Kairi said. “Not a lot of people want to come in here because the library is a lot quieter to study, and we’re pretty far off from civilization.”

“Speaking of civilization,” Olette said. “I have to head to class. I’ll see if I can grab Marley for lunch. Glad you’re doing better Roxas!”

Roxas watched her slide out of the booth, the others shuffling around. 

“Soooo, Sora,” Hayner started as Sora practically inhaled his burger. “Did you study for the Orgo test?”

Sora choked on his burger, his eyes widening comically. “Ba’f  _ t’day _ ?”

Hayner snorted, and Roxas reached out to pat his not-quite brother on the back as Sora coughed some. “Typical.”

“Sora!” Kairi balked. “You didn’t study?”

Sora took a gulp of water. “I had an injured brother to take care of!”

Hayner tsked. “Excuses, excuses, man. You know Professor Hojo gave us two week’s notice. Rox got his brain pureed yesterday.”

“Hey--!”

Sora groaned, putting his head between his arms, hands clasped over the back of his head. He let his forehead fall to the table with a loud thunk that Roxas felt as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Can you ask to be excused or make it up later?” Roxas asked the brunette, who just shook his head.

“No way,” Hayner said. “Hojo would just laugh and be like ‘tough luck, kid.’ And probably grade Sora harder. Guy gets a sick kick outta failing everyone.”

Kairi put a notebook on the table, sliding it across the space to nudge against the crown of Sora’s head. “Here, Sora.”

Sora lifted his head to peer at the perfectly handwritten notes, with symbols and lines and words and shapes that Roxas couldn’t even begin to comprehend. “You can study from this. You got about...a half hour before class starts, so you better get cracking.”

Sora sighed a breath of relief. “Thanks, Kairi! You’re a lifesaver!”

The brunette quickly got engrossed in the notes, shutting out the rest of the world. Roxas was impressed and a little horrified.

“So, Roxas, what do you have planned for today?” Pence asked, and suddenly all eyes turned back to focus on the blonde.

Roxas shrugged, because really, it wasn’t up to him. He was a little grateful. He turned to his twin silently, directing the gazes to him.

“Me and Sora are gonna show him around,” Ven said. “He doesn’t remember much of the school, so hopefully it’ll jog his memory, and if not he can get reacquainted for when he goes back to class. We’ll trade off when me and Sora are in class. I figured I’d start with the library.”

“Yeah, cause Sora doesn’t know where it is,” Hayner supplied, earning a highlighter cap thrown at him from the brunette. Sora hadn’t even looked up from his studies. Definitely impressive and a little horrifying.

“How many times have you gotten kicked out of the library for your loud mouth?” Kairi turned on Hayner, which elicited a snort from Roxas. That was exactly the kinda thing that his Hayner would do.

The Hayner that didn’t even exist.

It was odd, Roxas thought, as he observed the people at the table. It felt so much like his life in Twilight Town. The fake life, where he went to school and sat at a lunch table with the three of them. Except in this world, they had more friends who seemed to fit into their group amazingly. Hayner was exactly like his Hayner, Olette like Roxas’ Olette, and Pence like his Pence. He wondered if that was something the simulation had gotten right, or if it was just something that carried into every world, real or not.

It felt like what Roxas’ life would have been if he’d actually had gone to college.

He looked to his right, seeing Sora there, feeling Ven’s presence on his left. No, it wouldn’t have been like this. This was better. Roxas had siblings, ones who very obviously cared for him. And he could feel, not just simulated feelings or pieces of memories of what feelings would have been.

“Alright, come on guys,” Kairi said, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. “Time for us to head out. Sora, I can quiz you and Hayner on the way.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who needs it,” Hayner protested, grabbing his bag as well.

Roxas turned to see Sora with an expression that he wasn’t sure he liked. Instead of his energetic, bouncy self, Sora’s lips seemed to be a thin line and his eyes looked nearly vacant. He reminded Roxas of how he’d felt when he’d entered the school. _Nervous_ , his brain supplied. In a near mirror image of this morning, Roxas gently caught Sora’s arm. “You’ll do fine.”

He wasn’t sure  _ why _ he said that, except that it seemed like the right thing to do. Reciprocity, he guessed.

But Sora’s face brightened, just a little through the initial shock. He gave a smile to the blonde he thought was his brother. “Thanks, Rox. Hey, you two don’t get into trouble without me, okay?”

“Sure, dad,” Ven teased, but his eyes were alight and kind. “We should probably head out too anyway. You guys gonna be okay here?”

Roxas glanced at Pence and Aqua, the two remaining members. Aqua seemed more than okay with the extra space, having taken out what looked like three textbooks, while Pence had his laptop out.

“I’m TA’ing a class at eleven, but Terra will be coming by soon,” Aqua said, looking up at Ven. “Unless you wanna stay and say hi?”

Roxas turned to his twin, a little curious about the way his ears seemed to redden. “No, it’s okay. I’ll catch up with Terra tomorrow in Stats.”

“Suit yourself,” Aqua said, a small smirk on her face. Roxas wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, except that it reminded him of someone that he couldn’t place.

“A couple of my group members are coming by in a few minutes,” Pence said. “We’re going to work on part of our presentation for Sociology. You might catch us before lunch.”

“For sure,” Ven said. “Alright, come on, Rox.”

Roxas followed his twin as they entered the main cafeteria and crowd of college students, awkwardly holding onto one of Ven's backpack straps out of fear of getting lost, in a way he hoped Ven wouldn’t notice or feel.

Almost out of earshot as they were leaving, Roxas heard a familiar giggle that cut him to the core, one that sparked some part of his memory that he knew, one that he missed so much. It came from the sea of people in the cafeteria, but Roxas found he couldn't identify the source.

Before he was able to really start looking, Ven tugged him out and into the hallway.

Without knowing why, Roxas experienced what could only be called grief.

\---

The library was about as expected, but Roxas found it was his favorite part of the school thus far.

After Ven gave him a quick tour (“the first floor is the group projects and computer lab floor, the higher you go the quieter it gets”) and assured Roxas that he’d be on the second floor listening to his headphones and studying, Roxas found solace in the back of the nonfiction section on the third floor.

He found the section of Heartless books, Keyblade Warriors. The rows of books with titles that beckoned to him, and some even in a different language he didn’t understand. Roxas had taken a random book and found a bean bag chair in the back corner and it wasn’t until he realized he had been reading a paragraph for the third time that he realized how tired he’d been.

The library was a comfort in the sea of people, and Roxas hadn’t realized how exhausted he’d been until he closed his eyes and passed out within seconds.

Ven found Roxas about an hour and a half later dozing, and gently nudged Roxas’ foot with his shoe. Roxas blinked awake, dreams of a certain redhead and a black haired girl with blue eyes who looked reminded him of Kairi fading to the back of his mind already, fuzzy.

“I see you found your favorite spot in no time,” Ven said with a smile. “Come on. Let’s head back for lunch.”

Roxas yawned, finding that the small nap already was making him feel a little better. He hadn’t realized how tired he’d been, but it made sense with his still-healing wounds and adjusting to a completely new world after the most recent events.

He followed Ventus, and despite the big crowds in the hall and cafeteria along the way, it wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as it had been before.

“Did he used to go there a lot?” Roxas asked, looking at his twin. “You said it was his favorite spot.”

Ven glanced at him at the pronoun, hesitating. “Yeah, it’s where you used to be all the time. Whenever you’d get overwhelmed by all the people, I’d usually find you parked in that corner listening to your headphones or reading a book.”

“Oh,” Roxas said. He knew Ven didn’t quite believe Roxas, but he supposed maybe he would eventually. But it was nice, knowing that he and the other Roxas weren’t quite so different after all.

This time the cafeteria wasn’t so intimidating. It seemed a little more sparse than before, or maybe that was just because Roxas knew where to go now and what to do. He found himself loading up on food that he semi-recognized. “Will Sora be here?”

Ven nodded as they checked out and headed to their table. “Yeah. I’m gonna have to eat and run. He’s usually getting here when I’m leaving. Namine!”

The name made Roxas nearly drop his tray as Ventus bounced up to their table. Sure enough the blonde witch was sitting in the spot where Aqua had been this morning. The girl from the mansion, who that man in the red bandages had taken into a portal of darkness, who told Roxas that he wouldn’t disappear, that they’d meet again.

_ I’m a witch, with power over Sora’s memories and those around him. _

Did she know what was going on? Did she bring him here, somehow?

“Hey, Ven! Hey, Roxas!” Seemingly oblivious to Roxas’ dilemma, Namine gave the twins a warm smile and a wave. She was currently creating big colorful letters on a posterboard next to Pence, and two others who were unfamiliar to Roxas.

“Hey, Namine,” Roxas said, still looking at her with wide eyes.

“You remember Nami?” Ven asked, his smile going wide with excitement and he patted Roxas on the back. “That’s great!”

The pat on the back seemed to shake Roxas out of his trance. “Uh. No. Sorry. I remember your name but...I don’t think much else.”

“It’s okay,” Namine said. “Memory is a fickle thing. I’m sure it’ll come back to you.”

“Yeah!” The blonde boy with hair that looked like the twins’ said. “I got hit with the Sinflower toxin a few years ago. It took me a few weeks to get my head on straight. I’m Tidus, by the way.”

“Yuna,” said the quiet girl on his other side with the different colored eyes. “It’s nice to meet you, Roxas. Unlike the others, this is the first time we’ve met.”

Roxas felt a little better at that. “Oh. It’s nice to meet you too.”

“You’re not usually here on Tuesdays,” Yuna said. “I only take classes on Tuesdays. But your brothers talk so highly of you.”

“Oh, yeah,” Roxas said. “They wanted me to come with them to try to see if I remembered the school, and ease in before I go back to class.”

“Hey, it’s Olette!” Pence said cheerfully, as he’d been engrossed in whatever project the group had been working on.

Roxas turned and nearly choked on his drink.

Standing next to Olette with a tray of their own was a tall, lanky figure with unmistakable magenta hair, the pair of them walking toward the booth.

Marluxia.

“Hey everyone!” Olette greeted, sliding in with Marluxia into the booth with their food. “Roxas, this is Marluxia. They’re my lab partner.”

Marluxia gave Roxas a small nod, lips quirking upward for just the briefest moment. “It’s nice to meet you again, Roxas. I’m sorry to hear about your accident yesterday.”

Marluxia’s voice was still quiet, but it had much more of a lilt to it than the monotonous voice that Roxas remembered. Roxas had only met Marluxia briefly, since the other Nobody had been on the team that had gone to Castle Oblivion and not returned, having been terminated. He remembered Marluxia being cold, distant, but there were undertones of encouragement once Roxas had started to show progress in the beginning.

It was odd, seeing other Nobodies like Namine and Marluxia at the table, and especially an Organization member.

But instead of the black hooded Organization cloak, Marluxia was dressed in color. Fuchsia pants covered long skinny legs, with a white collared button down and a black vest over it. They had black laced boots with a heel, that made them look even taller than normal. A carnation was tucked behind their ear, perfectly winged eyeliner that emphasized Marluxia’s blue eyes and soft lip gloss.

“I heard you inhaled quite a bit of Sinflower spores,” Marluxia said. Even the way they ate their pasta was graceful. “I’m a botany major, minoring in floriculture. Plants, and especially flowers, are my specialty. If you’d like, I can look through my journals and see if I can find anything helpful for your condition.”

“Uh, thanks,” Roxas said numbly, shifting a little awkwardly.

“Hey guys!” Sora said cheerfully as he entered the room, a small group behind him. “They have pizza today!”

Roxas felt a tug at his lips and something ease within him as he saw the brunette, reminding him of when he was being paired up with Axel or Demyx at the Organization. No...more like when he was being paired up with--

“My cue to leave,” Ven cut through Roxas’ thoughts, scooting out of the booth to make room. “I gotta run to class. But it shouldn’t be too long, it’s just a test.”

The brothers switched places at Roxas’ side with a high five that looked well-practiced, and Roxas was sad to see Ven leave. He had the odd urge to grab Ven's sleeve and ask him to stay, but he didn't.

“How was the library?” Sora asked, looking at Roxas as Kairi and Hayner took their seats on the other side of them, next to Marluxia.

“I napped,” Roxas replied. “It was nice.”

“I could use a nap right now,” Hayner stretched. “That test killed me.”

“That’s because you didn’t study,” Kairi said. “And you gave Sora such a hard time.”

Roxas was too busy listening to the two of them bicker that he hadn’t noticed the door open this time, but the voice made him jump.

“Yo, Ventus! I see you got out of class earl--” the too-familiar voice caused a jolt in Roxas’ heart, even as it trailed off as the person realized that it was not Ven at the table.

The table went quiet, and all eyes were on the newcomer.

Axel.

“Roxas,” Axel’s voice lost its lightness, turning to something more cool, though those bright green eyes were cautious. “It’s Tuesday. You’re not usually here.”

Then all eyes were on Roxas, and Roxas swallowed hard. This was way too awkward, and he didn’t even know why everyone was quiet. What was wrong, and what had happened between those two?

“Y-you can sit here,” Roxas stammered out finally. He didn’t want Axel to go. He needed to talk to him, to find out what happened. To fix things and go back home. He didn’t want this awkwardness. “I don’t mind.”

Those green eyes were on him, as if not quite sure that Roxas was telling the truth. Roxas knew that look, he’d seen it in battle when Axel was waiting for the opponent to strike.

“ _Sit,_ Lea,” Kairi’s voice broke through the tension in the air with the command. She tugged Axel’s--Lea's sleeve. “Roxas doesn’t even remember your drama, so leave it at the door.”

Axel cast another glance over to Roxas before he sighed, sitting next to the redheaded girl. “You're the boss, Kai.”

The chatter seemed to pick up again, and Roxas felt a collective unspoken sigh of relief from the table.

Axel didn’t look at him again, and when Ven came back from class it was time for the brothers to go. Roxas felt disappointed that he hadn’t been able to talk to Namine or Ax--Lea, who was so close and yet still seemed so far out reach.

By the time they got home, Roxas was so tired that he went to the couch and immediately fell asleep despite it only being nearly six in the evening.

That was Tuesday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roxas is dealing with a loss of two lives--his existence in the Organization and his time in Twilight Town. He's kinda struggling with some PTSD, but that'll probably manifest a little later.
> 
> Also--hell yeah most of the Organization and other characters are some form of queer. You can't convince me that Marluxia/Lauriam isn't a badass transfemme.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated!


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